Los Angeles has a new(ish) improv community that is being fueled by the success of improvisers such as Steve Carrell, Stephen Colbert, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler ( not to mention the rest of the Upright Citizens Brigade), and just about every single person you see in a Sonic or other dumb commercial. They’re all improvisers, every single on of them!

Your chances of going to an improv show around LA and saying at least one time ‘Hey i recognize that guy from…’ are nearly 100%, and with the exodus of performers from the Midwest and the East Coast to the Golden State, the chances are getting even BETTER (and so is the talent). The shows are dirt cheap (rarely costing more than ten bucks, and often times are FREE…did i say FREE? I did!) and are full of some of the most talented up and coming performers/writers/entertainment folks around.

The ‘magic’ of improv, is that there are no scripts, and everything is made up right in front of the audiences face – generally from their suggestions! It’s like YOU’RE the writer of a half hour television sitcom! (that happens to not be on television). The appeal to an audience, is that: 1. it’s cheap entertainment 2. it’s a once in a lifetime opportunity (no matter how many times a group will get the suggestion ‘pizza’, the moment that is created on stage will be different EVERY SINGLE TIME – think about that next time you’re singing along to that Radiohead song you like so much at their $100 concert and their tired old set list) 3. it’s fun. And that’s the most important part. Watching people succeed (or inevitably fail) on stage is an extremely exciting opportunity. Witnessing performers walk the tightrope of ultimate embarrassment is unmatched by rehearsed entertainment.

Where can you see this stuff? TONS of places. So many places are offering high quality improv for the price of a beer (or less).

The Improv Space In Westwood
The IO West In Hollywood
Upright Citizens Brigade (or UCB for those who are much more savvy) In Hollywood
Room 101 In Los Angeles
Mission Improvable In Santa Monica

There are plenty of places all over town. There are even smaller theaters and venues that offer improv on various days of the week. You really have no excuse to go out there and get out of your comfort zone. 90% of these theaters offer classes and workshops – ranging from free to ridiculously overpriced – if you’re so inclined to give it a shot.

Don’t confuse it with ‘The Improv’, or you will be severely gouged and disappointed. Unless you’re looking for overprices standup, then by all means go check out ‘The Improv’.

Many teams are putting their shows online nowadays too (but believe me, the magic is in the room – not on the video – you will often look at video of shows you saw and wonder why anyone was laughing so hard…it’s unexplainable, and can only be experienced in the moment). My team ‘The Board’ has a show below you can check out

The Board Goes to Washington from Adam Macy on Vimeo.

and there are some other teams that put their performances online as well – including an excellent, well established group USS Rock N Roll

So, come out to The Improv Space every Friday at 8:30 to watch your very own Arnold Benedict make a fool of himself (email me downinthewell@gmail.com for comps and special gifts and prizes) or go to one of the many other venues that are available for your entertainment.

Become Un-Bored.

AB

SOPA is bad and all, but can we stop crying about how “Congress is trying to censor the Internet” and focus on the real things wrong with SOPA?

I’ll break down right quick why the stop censorship stuff is more fuel for the hate game. There are a few issues with SOPA that painting it as “the government is censoring the internet oh noes!!!111eleven” ignore. One is that it continues the trend of creating law enforcement mechanisms that have no due process, putting “violators” in the position of being deemed guilty until proven innocent. One current “nuclear option” of enforcement is FBI/HS/ICE siezure of servers and equipment from violators. This here is a huge issue, because we don’t use “servers” anymore in a physical sense that there’s a single physical machine that runs a single website and if you take away the machine you take away the website and that’s that. If the govt was to sieze downinthewell.com or any of the other properties I manage, there is no physical server for them to take. There’s a cluster of dozens of servers in a datacenter that handle tasks for my sites and hundreds of other peoples all on the same hardware. FBI wants to take downinthewell, they have to take 100s of other sites with it. What if those other 100s of sites are businesses run by people who will go bankrupt before law enforcement figures out that yes, they did accidently seize their site? The free market happens… Oh and you the consumer don’t hear anything about this because typically because all parties involved are under a gag order so a business can’t even tell their customers that their servers/website was accidently siezed by the government because doing so violates the gag order and even though the innocent business didn’t commit a crime if they talk about it they will be committing a crime. SOPA didn’t start this, but it continues it and fails to address this technical reality, which needs to be the cornerstone of any new legislation.

Then there’s the technical issues. SOPA calls for very specific handling of DNS records that has some implications on a technical level. These are not guidelines or ideas, SOPA establishes new rules. I could explain the parts I understand, but there is an entire subset of the IT industry that deals exclusivly with the global implementation of TCP/IP and DNS. The important thing to understand is that it’s complicated and maybe engineering decisions are best made by the people who understand them.

Here is where the big problem with SOPA is that Google et al should be informing people about instead of the “congress is gonna make us like china!”. The SOPA is being supported and pushed by the entertainment industry lobby. No secret. They spend a shit ton of money on lobbying, congress runs on money, blah blah blah…
It is worth pointing out that when congress was debating and discussing this bill a month ago, the few opponents of SOPA wanted to have expert testimony on the details of this “technical stuff”. The supporters of SOPA refused.

Think about it. Congress is about to pass a law with very real economic effects that are broad reaching, and the congressmen who support this law DO NOT want to discuss it. They want to pass it and be done. It’s fine for most people to not understand the technical side. It’s fine for congress to not understand. It’s not fine for congress to not understand a bill, REFUSE to try to understand it, and want to “just pass it and worry about it later” and “leave the nerd stuff to the nerds”. Both of those are paraphrased quotes from congressional hearings.

SOPA isn’t about censorship. It’s about congress passing legislation that favors the narrow interest groups that bought and paid for it, even when those laws 1) won’t have any effect on the thing it’s supposed to fix and 2) will have effects on alot of things that congress isn’t interested in hearing about. But why address the actual problem when it’s easy to twist it into “censorship” and then hey everybody hates censorship so let’s all hate censorship together sponsered by Google (who’s setting you up to screw you over later, but that’s another issue entirely but i’ll give you a hint that what some could call the enforcment of truth in advertising laws it would be very much in google’s interest to call government censorship).

Yeah, real cute baby Einstein - but you look like a mud pie.

Does it not look like a child made out of melted fudge? Have you ever played the board game Candyland? Could you imagine giving birth to this thing!?

Congratulations Mrs. Spencer - your baby is a healthy 80's pop culture reference

You could build a pueblo out of this kid.

Conception began during the Green Day set at Woodstock ’94.

Supposedly the technology is much better now, and if you have a descent enough insurance plan – your 3-D ultrasound will look like an actual real infant and not a terrifying Junior Jabba The Hut

But, a world without mud babies is a world i don’t wanna live in.

Hey, that dog isn't handicapped!

Who knew santa was a socialist?

A fine line between a Glory Hole and a Kissing Booth

Obligatory 'this looks different than this' pic - i've seen worse

Someone took a little taste

Bridesmaids.

The reason i began writing these was based entirely on a conversation i had with my sister about this movie.  She (like so many other women in the film industry – and comedy) hark it as a ‘landmark film that shatters the glass ceiling’ (a paraphrase and reinterpretation of many of their statements – but pretty accurate) – this film will change the way they’re made!

I disagreed – but upon finding out that i hadn’t really even paid attention to the movie the first time through – the naysayers declared my opinion invalid.  (citing the fact that if the movie couldn’t capture my full attention while i sit on my couch and internet – then it wasn’t worth it’s salt, regardless of who made it)

So i watched it last night with undivided attention.

As you would expect (as stubborn as i tend to be) – my opinion has not changed.  I just can’t watch this film and think to myself – *sigh* ‘groundbreaking’.

Kristin Wiig plays your classic downtrodden yet hopeful thirty something still clamoring her way towards an epiphany.  She is cute, charming, and a passionate ‘every girl’ – totally relateable – finally women can have an honest to goodness role model they can look up to – the loud, selfish, not afraid to fart joke Wiig.

Great.

Yes, the film is touching – yes it has it’s moments where i truly laughed out loud – groundbreaking?  no.

My argument isn’t meant to be misogynistic (at least i don’t think it should be taken as such) -  but shouldn’t something be ‘new and interesting’ to be considered ‘groundbreaking’?  I understand women in comedy don’t get the respect they sometimes deserve (but, as anyone who knows anything about comedy can attest to – ANY woman with a fraction of talent in comedy (and good looks doesn’t hurt either) nowadays gets eaten up by the talent sharks the instant they show promise re: whitney).  Bridesmaids is just a re-hash of bad comedy that has been made so many times before – but, with a woman at the helm.

I understand that this movie wasn’t for ME – and i respect that.  But neither are cartoons, and i more than often LOVE those.

i thought it didn’t live up to the hype (as to be expected) – but that doesn’t mean there weren’t some redeeming qualities.  There are much worse movies out there that i have seen that never would have had the Bride shit in the street while trying on a one of a kind French designer dress.  The roommates were good for a little laugh – but the standout was really Melissa McCarthy who played the rotund ‘Chris Farley’ roll – and she was hilarious in almost every scene she was in – naturally, because that’s why she was written into the film.  The comic relief in a comedy film was the saving grace.

Lucille Ball and Roseanne Barr were ‘groundbreaking’.  They were pioneers of their craft.  They didn’t just decide to map their concept over a time tested template and call it genius.  They transformed the medium in ways that Bridesmaids can never touch.

Listen folks – kick back on a sunday night and watch Bridesmaids.  Laugh along with foul mouthed females telling you the best dick jokes you may have never heard.  Applaud as the soft, sweet smelling facade is peeled away from everything you thought occurs between friends of the female persuasion.  It’s entertaining and irreverent – but the shovels will stay on the shelves.

but maybe i’m missing something.

A place ladders shouldn't be: Right outside my bathroom stall

Come on, you know you'd take that picture too! Think about all that HECK!

A bathroom stall at the fair, that doesn't seem all that fair. #fatpeople'sproblems

I SWEAR i saw a cat wearing a pillbox hat, am I just crazy?

Two crappy computers might just be a #brokepeoplesproblems

A bit of an introduction:

I’m one of those people who hates something (be it films, bands, co-workers, anything really) before i’ve really even experienced it.  You know the type, complains about how terrible (insert popular blockbuster action flick here) is going to be, then never even sees it – while continually trashing it.  Yeah, i’m one of those goons.

I have recently taken to proactively seeking out these pieces of work in order to dispel the terrible rumors that I’ve been spreading to myself about them.  Take, The Rolling Stones for instance.  The Stones are one of those bands that I decided early on i would never own an album of.

They’re too old to rock and roll, but weren’t always.  They’ve withstood the test of time and deserve a fair shake.  There has to be more depth in there than the overplayed radio hits we’ve all been subjugated to after all of these years.

But this isn’t about the Rolling Fucking Stones (it may be eventually, but that was just one of the many examples i could provide at this moment – i hold strong opinions about things i know nothing about).

This is about ALL the things that i thought i wouldn’t like.  Beginning with:

MACHETE. A Robert Rodriguez film.

Machete came out in 2010, a few years after being teased as a ‘b’ movie trailer in the Successful Robert Rodruguez/Quentin Tarantino brainchild ‘Grindhouse’ (2007), a double feature directed by each auteur preceded by trailers for terrible sounding movies, one being ‘Machete’.  The trailer makes it out to be a crazed immigrant (played by a haggard Danny Trejo( is that redundant?)) with a penchant for hacking people to bits using sharpened blades of steel.  The trailers were intended to be over the top parodies of Grindhouse films of old, and I assumed (along with everyone else?) that is where it would end.

Flash forward to Cinco Dey Mayo 2010.

A new trailer goes viral for a full length, fully realized ‘Machete’.  Working for a viral web company, i was naturally skeptical.  ‘No way, this is just a stunt for the Mexican Independence rally’s that are going on’ (these were beginning to really escalate in Los Angeles at the time, so i feel justified in assuming this was somehow bringing awareness to the issues).

I was wrong.  Shortly after, the film came out.  I never saw it.

It just didn’t look good.  How the hell can a film that was tailor made after a fake joke trailer be good?

Well, i watched it yesterday.  Here are the results.

Do you like senseless violence?  Do you like terrible, over the top acting?  Do you like political activism through low rent film projects?  Do you like Lindsay Lohans naked boobs!?  because that’s what you’re going to get!

It was fun.  I was totally wrong about the movie being crap, because, well, it was supposed to be.  It was tongue in cheek, over the top violence and over sexualization of women.  Lindsey Lohan gives a predictably terrible performance (fitting right in with the rest of the cast, Cheech Marin

excluded) but shows off her great rack (one time, clearly stated in her contract I’m sure, because there was at least one more opportunity to show off those sweet cans, but alas, even the notorious party girl has her standards).

Was it a good movie?  It really depends on your definition of ‘Good’.  Was I glad i watched it?  Of course!  It made me laugh out loud on more than one occasion (one of those being at how unbelievably terrible the dialogue really was, but that counts in my book. a laugh is a laugh)  It has a loose political message, or at least is trying to, while it does bring up a pressing issue we continue to discuss here in the border states.

And did i mention lindsay lohans boobs?

It’s a star studded cast (including Robert De Niro, Michelle Rodriguez, Don Johnson, and Jessica Alba), with Typical Rodriguez film making, it could definitely be less interesting.

Thank you Netflix.  My weak Que has afforded me the opportunity to begin a new chapter in my life, and it started with ‘Machete’, a film I would most likely still never see in a theater.

And yes, there are a LOT of machetes being used to hack people to bits, as you would hope.

Overall:  opinion changed.  I sort of liked it.

BONUS:  Lindsay Lohans Boobs (NSFW)

An unfortunate name for an unfortunate woman

She wasn’t quite that character from the hit Disney flick ‘Hercules’, but that nacho burrito sure wreaked some sort of Hell on my lower intestine.

I think you’re reading that right.  And downinthewell does not approve.

A Guest Column about summer love by A.N. Owen:

After college I rented a house with three of my buddies and we proceeded to pass the next two years in a drunken, drug induced haze….needless to say, it was lots of fun…anyway..

on one particular night, the usual drinking and merry making had occurred and i found myself entertaining a certain lady friend.  Things were progressing nicely, as things tend to do when fueled by my boozy charm and rugged good looks; until i realized that, if the evening was going to progress the way i would like it to, i was lacking the proper……..let’s say “attire”.

Now, despite the seemingly endless list of disgusting habits that one is bound to witness while living in a house with three other twenty-something males, there is one tried and true rule that will never fail you….there are always….ALWAYS, condoms somewhere in the house…now, this being a rather unexpected roll in the hay, as i said, i found myself unprepared (greatly disappointing my inner boy scout).  So, there in the darkness of my crummy little bedroom, i located some under garments, which turned out to be my lady friends and not my own (this didn’t bother me in the least at the time), and proceeded upstairs with the hope that one of my roommates could help me out.

With a little investigation i discovered only one of my roommates was home.  And it was the most robust, most surly, most grizzly bear-like one of the lot.  And for those of you who are unaware, twenty-something men of this stature sleep DEEP.  They don’t like it when you accidentally wake them up.  And they especially don’t like it when you wake them up on purpose to borrow condoms because you’re getting laid while they’re not.  So i don’t recommend anyone try this at home, and  especially don’t try doing it while wearing nothing but a pair of women’s underpants.

Anyway, eventually, i was able to awaken my roommate.  He was, at first, disheveled, then disgusted, then; luckily, able to see the humor in the whole situation…..but mostly disheveled and disgusted.  I was able to explain myself clearly enough to where he understood how he could make me go away.  He mumbled something about how much he hated me as he slapped a handful of condoms into my palm and collapsed back into his bed.  I offered up the appropriate amount of ‘IOU’s and exited his room with a handful of what i had came for and a head full of all the wonderfully dirty things to come in my very near future.

I rejoined my lady friend with a thumbs up and a “he’s the fuckin man” referring to my roommate.  She and I got back into the swing of things perfectly until i tore open one of the condom wrappers, said “What the Fuck”, and had to turn on the light.

The moral of the story is don’t wake up your roommate to tell him you’re gettin laid so you need to borrow condoms, cause you just end up with blue balls in a pair of panties, holdin a handful of pre-moistened towelettes from Kentucky Fried Chicken……Fuck MY Life….And my friends…but still, nicely done Joe….