After five long years of loyal disservice, I have up and quit my job. Congratulations to me. There are many dark tunnels to explore in my future, so don’t come lookin!
And of course I include my alias on all of my official work documents. One day I’m gonna have to pony up and use my real name, but I’m too afraid of the flocks of teenage women hurling their undergarments at me while I attempt to shop for farina and beer.
A few days back, the first collaboration between myself and Klepto K took place, at some guy named ‘Robby”s birthday party he was having at the bar. We gave Robby the biggest gift of them all, a shit show! (an apology to the Liquid Lounge for crashing your live music night, and making it our bitch….your 45 minutes will never be returned)
Here are a few examples of the things that we got out of the show, and in the future we will be providing some audio samples to scare you away with. As long as we are able to weather the ‘boo’s', we should be having more updates like this. Thanks for coming out if you did, if you didn’t, contact me at downinthewell@gmail.com to get on our mailing list for future updates. It’s a two man one man show explosion-athon!
Enjoy some bar games!
(excerpts from ‘ask an idiot’)
(visual manifestation of ‘who pooped in the bathroom – the bar game!)
Now THAT’S entertainment.
Occasionally, we here at downinthewell consider bringing more members to our small dysfunctional family. Generally, these thoughts are immediately banished with sobriety…but sometimes things slip through and deals are made with various devils. So, while he is no stranger to us personally, he has yet to grace the illustrious pages of downinthewell.com. If you would be so kind, please welcome the drunk, the lonely, the perpetually angry Alexander Nathaniel Owen, and his column: Info Sack.
‘You Better Recognize’ – A piece by A.N. Owen
So, over the years, I have discovered, that I am easily recognizable….most likely it’s the sideburns,
maybe I’m loud, or obnoxious, there’s a small possibility that it cause I’m funny….but doubtful, most
likely it’s the sideburns (people nowadays are too stupid to remember anything else….especially people
from the south)….whatever the reason, the bottom line is…..I get recognized. [full entry]
Smelling, if it had nothing to do with taste, would be useless to me. It’s difficult for me to hypothesize how difficult it would be for me to live like that creature featured on all of the most recent Harry Potter movie advertisements (someone help me out here, i understand he’s a bad guy…THE bad guy in fact).
In honor of that film series finally being put to rest so Hollywood can get back to making blockbuster blow em up flicks i present to you this list:
Ten body parts i’d never like to lose (in order of importance)
10. beard. my face would get cold without one.
9. my ass. because sitting has become something i’ve grown to really like. reeeaaaaly like. like an unhealthy obsession with just sitting down. sitting down is the first step to hanging out and playing video games.
8. appendix. you gotta stick up for the little guy. everybody gets this thing removed and just tosses it in the trash as if it hasn’t done anything for the common ancestor we share with the chimpanzee in digesting cellulose and plant matter.
7. fingernails. cuz i like backscratches, and in order to get a backscratch you generally have to give a backscratch…and that aint happenin with little fleshy nubs.
6. hitchiker thumb. cuz i got one and you dont.
5. stomach. eating is awesome. eating food is sooooooo great. i eat when im hungry, i eat when im bored, i eat when the tv’s on, i eat when the tv’s off, i eat when im driving, i eat and eat and eat and eat and eat.
4. kidneys. they make pee. i know liver sounds like a much more important organ to this type of crowd, but it’s my understanding that the liver can regenerate, so i assume if they took it out it’s just going to grow right back, like a disgusting corn on your toe…a disgusting corn that filters all that deadly poison out of your blood.
3. my skin. have you ever seen a person with no skin? it’s gross.
2. my fingers. i love touching stuff. i eat with my fingers all the time. even if you replaced them with forks they could never be as useful as they are right now.
1. my face. i don’t feel like it’s that great to look at, but i’d hate looking in the mirror every morning, and i’d have a hell of a time picking out a facebook profile picture without one.
About a week ago I was cleaning my room. Remember the lizard tail my cat gave me for my birthday? Under a pile of clothes I discovered this:
Apparently the whole ‘dropping your tail in defense’ thing works! A little dehydrated, a little stressed out, and a little less lizard…but alive!
I had to resist every worldly urge to recreate a natural environment in a glass box for the little guy to make him my own (something as a child/teenager/young adult I would have done in an instant), gave him some water and a few crickets and let him go in the backyard.
My cat still has that tail hidden somewhere…it’s his favorite toy.
I turned 28 the other day…and the rest…is history
I’m no handyman.
A few months ago I was in desperate need of a bicycle [full entry]
As I was flipping through the pages of a dusty old classified circular picked up from a diner outside of Mojave, CA I noticed a few things: Rent is about as cheap as the dirt the house is sitting on, racing pigeons are all the rage and you can purchase them for ten bucks a pop – certified and banded, and motorized breast pumps are more expensive when you purchase them used.
I’ve never really thought about breast milk much before, being that i was a Similac kid growing up [full entry]
My prediction was spot on. This picture was taken driving on 105 West toward El Segundo at about 10:13 in the morning. In case you were wondering, I made it.
