I Recently got a chance to ‘open’ for The Kyle Gass Band’s official halloween bash at DiPiazzas in Long Beach. Everyone there had a great time (with the exception of one young lady who took offense to my wearing a found scarf on my head like a turbin. Not out of cultural disagreement – but because she thought i was stealing it from her. i swear the top of my head is way more visible than a lost and found, as she suggested – drunk bitch).
After KG kicked off his high heels – i was (not) able to sit down with him after the show and shoot a little shit. this is how it (might have) went:
Arnold Benedict: Hey, did you see our show tonight?
Kyle Gass: were you on the Sopranos?
AB: no. we were the opening act toni-
KG: it was a joke – but, no, we were running late and ended up unloading during your set. but i hear you guys were great.
AB: we were pretty good for a last minute replacement – any chance we can open for you guys on tour?
KG: we’re not going on tour any time soon
AB: but, if you were – could we open for you?
KG: i don’t think we have any tour plans in the future – not right now at least
AB: but if you were
KG: i haven’t even seen your band! there is no tour!
AB: it was a halloween show – you were dressed as Lori Beth Denberg
KG: Who?
AB: Lori Beth Denberg – she was on the show ‘All That’
KG: I might have missed that one – i was just wearing a wig and dress, i was dressed as a woman
AB: the show was on Nickelodean
KG: Yeah, i might have seen it at some point, but can’t really remember any details
AB: did you watch a lot of Nickelodean?
KG: not too much – some ‘Ren and Stimpy’ i guess, i think that was on Nickelodean, right?
AB: this has been some vital information
KG: that i’ve watched Nikelodean?
AB: it was what she said in the show
KG: ‘Ren and Stimpy’?
AB: ‘All That’…were you Roseanne?
KG: are you just naming heavy women?
AB: I think you looked a lot like Lori Beth Denberg, i just guessed Roseanne, but you don’t really look like her.
KG: I did watch Roseanne
AB: i liked when Dan got hit in the head with a wrecking ball
KG: yeah, i remember that episode – it was pretty emotional
AB: i think he would have died, right? if he got hit with a wrecking ball, in the head?
KG: i don’t know – he didn’t
AB: even with a hard hat on, a wrecking ball is pretty heavy
KG: yeah
AB: would you ever go on tour with Miley Cyrus?
KG: i don’t think we share the same audience
AB: what if she asked you?
KG: i guess so – we might have to change some of the lyrics
AB: she’s getting pretty sexual now
KG: yeah, but isn’t she like – seventeen?
AB: oh…
[silence]
AB: you played the flute…
KG: i did
AB: that was fun
KG: i think so
AB: hey – the other guys didn’t wear costumes
KG: yeah, we were running a little late – they tossed on some wigs and called it good
AB: i wore a diaper
KG: is that a ‘Manchild’ reference?
AB: uh…
KG: we have a song called ‘Manchild’ – it’s the name of our album
AB: …
KG: it’s on this t-shirt i’m wearing
AB: oh, no – i poured ravioli in it
KG: ok.. i think i’ve gotta close out my tab
AB: hey, here’s a DVD – it’s the first season of a sketch comedy web series i helped make – it’s comedy
KG: i like comedy
AB: cool, so you’ll watch it?
KG: sure, first thing when i get home
and there it is – full and uncut. You can find out all sorts of stuff about the Kyle Gass Band (wait…KGB!? WHY DIDN’T I REALIZE THIS!?) on their official site:
The Kyle Gass Band
You can find out more about the Klepto K Project (the opening act referred to in the interview) at :
The Klepto K Project
and you an find out more about the comedy DVD at:
The Craig T Nelson Mandela Variety Hour’s Youtube Page!
