Arnold Benedict Doesn’t Interview: GypsyHawk

It was a musty evening at the Roxy – with so many sasquatches packed into one room, it’s hard not to notice the odor. For such elusive creatures – they sure do know how to pack a house. There were happy hour grilled cheeses for sale ($7 a pop, if you call that a ‘sale’) – but i couldn’t dream of eating over the stench of carrion. These beasts clearly paid no notice to the sign out front, which very plainly stated ‘No outside food or beverages’ – have some class you filthy apes!

I was (not) able to catch up with Eric Harris, bass player of GypsyHawk after the show – and i had some questions (not) prepared in case i got the opportunity to (not) interview them. Here’s how it (would’ve) went:

Arnold Benedict: I yelled fuck Detroit half way through your set, what did you guys think about that?

Eric Harris: you yelled ‘Fuck Detroit?’

AB: yeah, about half way through your set – did you think it was because Erik Kluiber is from Detroit?

EH: why would you yell ‘Fuck Detroit’?

AB: i’m glad you asked that – you see, Ian [brown, drummer] owes me thirty dollars after the Bears beat the Lions last year

EH: So, football bets made you yell ‘Fuck Detroit’ at us while we were on stage?

AB: well, Ian owes me the thirty dolllars, and i haven’t been able to collect since you guys have been on tour so much so…

EH: So you yell ‘Fuck Detroit’?

AB: yeah, i mean, i didn’t think until later that it might be a little confusing – oh, and the blackhawks won the stanley cup.

EH: Hockey?

AB: yeah, so that’s another reason

EH: to say ‘Fuck Detroit’?

AB: yeah

EH: at a GypsyHawk show…

AB: did you hear the guy yell ‘Fuck State Lines’ after you announced the title of your song?

EH: i must have missed that

AB: Ian, did you hear it?

[Ian munches on some dead rodents and leaf litter]

AB: i think he stole that from me

EH: Some guy stole yelling ‘Fuck fill in the blank’ from you?

AB: i don’t think he meant it to mean ‘fuck your song “state lines”” – i think he just doesn’t like arbitrary borders

EH: ok..

AB: like, the border between Illinois and Iowa makes sense, and Indiana and Illinois, and Illinois and Kentucky and Missouri

EH: because of the river

AB: Yeah! So, do you guys choreograph your own dance moves, or have you been influenced by anyone in particular

EH: we just do what feels right – and if it feels so right that we want to do it again, we’ll do it again

AB: cool, but did you learn them from any single one person?

EH: we’ve all been to a lot of shows, and been in a few bands – so everything has influenced us in some way – you’re pointing to yourself right now, do you want me to say that YOU influenced what we do on stage?

AB: you could say i choreographed what you do on stage – only if it were true

EH: I’m not saying that

AB: well, thanks a lot for your time, it was a great show – hope you had fun at The Roxy!

Well, that was informative, wasn’t it? Who knew i had so much influence in the Stoner Metal Revival scene. You can see Gypsyhawk on stage in a city near you on their upcoming tour – or buy their crap at any one of these fine places:
Revelry & Resilience on iTunes
Best Buy
Google Play

Miley Cyrus, VMA Twerk Crazy

Miley Cyrus is an alien. Not just any alien, she is popular animated alien Invader Zim, to be exact.

Don’t believe me? Just take a look at this footage of this former teenage heartthrob at work at the MTV Video Music Awards last night.

still not convinced? here’s exhibit A:

notice any striking similarities? AN ALIEN! SHE’S AN ALIEN!!!

what were those things she was dancing around with in the video, teddy bears? what do you think were stuffed inside – an army of Miley Cyrus’ alien robot servants, perhaps!?
Exhibit B:

miley cyrus robot army

She’s an alien. She’s not the daughter of a pop country jukebox icon – she’s a hideous being from another planet that was sent here to do something terrible to our brains.

and that uncomfortable feeling in your pants? it’s not some special laser she brought from her interstellar space ship. that’s all on you – perv.

A few new videos

i predicted the lack of updates since the last episode post – so i’ll make up for that by linking a few of my favorite one-off sketches that i either A) personally wrote or B) enjoy. Subscribe to to get these updates as they come out – instead of a few months later.

but most importantly – watch, enjoy, repeat.

Craig T Nelson Variety Hour Ep. 6 – A Eulogy

This is the final installment of our first ‘season’ of a short sketch show series. Easily the icing on the proverbial sketch video cake. There is still time to catch up on the five previous, completely unrelated episodes, and subscribe to the channel on YouTube. There will continue to be updates until we hate each other and quit producing. We’ve got a few more weeks of content and some special bonus items in the can that i probably will neglect to post here, but can be seen on the youtube channel or


tell me what you think in the comments, on YouTube, or on twitter @downinthewell

Craig T Nelson Mandela Variety Hour Ep. 5 – How to remain undetected in the bathroom

This episode is fun, and educational. High art, meets a toilet, and another toilet, and another toilet.

The first time i ever identified someone by their shoes was during a game of ‘Heads Up, Seven Up!’ in third grade. I never forgot that trick.

if you meet me in real life – just remember – I know you by your shoes.