This was an idea i had for a comic or info graphic of some sort – and then i realized how incredibly lazy and apathetic i’ve become. So i just wrote out the definitive guidelines i use to succeed in the vicious world of online argumentation. Follow some, or all of these rules, and you are sure to be be a class ‘A’ troll:

post a link to a related article that takes a contradicting standpoint – don’t bother reading the content, just make sure there’s an inflammatory title – that’s all anyone is going to read anyway.

use plenty of ‘facts’….don’t worry about looking up accurate information from reliable sources to support a particular view point – just use the word ‘facts’ many times to imply the opposing argument is lacking them, and yours are all airtight.

drop subtle statements generalizing your antagonist’s life view, be sure to disparage them in a glib manner

ignore the points being presented in any counter-response, but spend more time searching for evidence to support your argument, numbers and graphs are great because it adds legitimacy – and people love pictures.

search synonyms for ‘fascist’, use liberally

let it rest….come back days, weeks, even months later, and claim your victory (alternatively, go back and delete all of your response to make the other guy look like a real joker)

You won! Congratulations! Internet is easy!

Everyone around me is getting sick, so sick that it started to affect me in a way I’ve never experienced – I began to THINK myself ill. This is how I explain it:

My sister mentioned throat gremlins the other day, and I was astonished that she had independently came to the same conclusion that I had weeks earlier. Was this a sibling mind coalescence? Then, she reminded me of those gross little Mucinex guys, and this may not be a completely original idea – I disregarded her argument completely.
Enjoy.

I somehow figured out how to upset the German YouTube population – purely by chance – after creating an animated birthday cardanimated birthday card for my dad while he was in Germany. Apparently, they care very little for being typecast as a beer swilling, lederhosen wearing, polka listening, mumbling bumbling fools. Fortunately, I don’t care much for the opinions of oversensitive internet crybabies – and decided to make a video specially for them. So, for most of you, this will be something you watch, scratch your head, and wonder why I waste my time doing things like this – but, for the others, i have one thing to say: Trinken Sie ein Dachs Milch zum Frühstück

Just another unnecessary addition to the internet abyss.

I love Awesome Fest. A gathering of people who don’t like me, listening to music that nobody should ever make.

Amongst the highlights at this years Awesome Fest in San Diego were two of my (currently) favorite bands – Cheap Girls (who you will see featured below in an acoustic format), and Underground Railroad To Candyland (a band i demand you check out – no matter how terrible A.N. Owen from info sack fame says it is). I did get a short video of Todd C (Toys That Kill, FYP, URTC) being a jackass to a bouncer who climbed up on stage in the middle of their set because people were ‘falling on the stage’ – but it doesn’t do the scene justice (much like that description) so i’m omitting it from the record.

If sleeping in crappy hotels, being constantly hungover, riding a lot of bikes, eating pot pies in bed, sweaty sing alongs, high fives and listening to overly distorted trimmed down bands (with the exception of URTC, who i believe cram as many people on stage as possible, as a constitutional mandate) is your thing – Then Awesome Fest might be also.

Kyle Kinane was also very funny. It seems like the logical step would be to incorporate more drunk/flannely/bearded comedy and sideshow freaks to this lineup.

Have fun. Get un-bored.

If you are fortunate enough to enjoy your job – consider yourself very lucky – you chose right, you won the lottery of life. For the rest of us, tiny victories are what we hold on to.

This is a video me and a friend worked on about six years ago – and i’ve finally remembered it’s relevance.

Note to self: do more stuff like this.