Down In The Well Presents: A Night At The Movies

I think I made mention of my computer failure last week in relation to this super mega sweet film review. Well, as things would have it, after opening word for the third or fourth time since then the program finally remembered that it had recovered a lost document! So without further hesitation we bring to you:

Down In The Well Presents: A Night At The Movies with ‘Monsters VS. Aliens’ [aka: maybe it should have stayed lost]

I drank a fifth of E&J mixed with a jumbo Cherry Coke while seeing the movie and writing this review via text messages on my phone. Let’s see how it went.

If you like monsters or aliens, this is a movie that has them. This is one of those movies that really could have benefitted from casting John Lithgow as a character, He could have been any of them really, mostly because John Lithgow kicks so much ass he could have made ‘Wild Hogs’ a good movie. I also think they could have thrown in a few ‘Full House’ references for all the loyal fans out there, being that ‘M.V.A.’ takes place in beautiful San Francisco where Danny Tanner and Rebecca Donaldson woke up with you every weekday morning, and uncle Jessie tore our hearts out with all of his crazy rooftop motorcycle antics. But I swear I’ll snap if Michelle asks for ‘ouscream’ one more time!

Anyway, Stephen Colbert can be my president any day, especially if he handles aliens with the ‘Axl Foley Theme song interpretive dance’ method of communication he displays in the movie [I admit, that song brings back great memories every time I hear it, and is always a welcome addition to any soundtrack].

The plot is a little flimsy what with the fact that this stupid alien is trying to build an entire civilization made up entirely of clones of himself– which is ridiculous to even consider, I mean, ha! Come on! Think of the lack of genetic variation! And please people, let’s pay closer attention to the important details. You wouldn’t have to change the name of ‘insectosaurus’ after he turns into a butterfly – a butterfly is still an insect! Morons!

Overall, this was a good movie because of the few things I took away from it:

1: I could probably be a weather man if i really wanted to.

2: I could totally date a giant chick [just as long as she destroys huge robots].

[Ed.: wow…just…wow]

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