Helping Out The Future Me

Coming home half in the bag and super hungry is a losing situation. UNLESS…you had gone to the store the day earlier and uncharacteristically [what are the fucking odds i spelled that right!?] bought a frozen pizza and some body wash [that’s right…old spice bitch! AND i use a loofa!], came home and cooked that pizza but didn’t feel like eating it [but totally took a shower and made yourself sexy for the ladies]. So you put it in the fridge [the pizza…not the sexy me…although…i just went to sleep…so i guess that would technically be putting the ‘sexy me’ straight into the fridge].

Now it’s a friday night [early saturday morning] and i’m wasted and struggling to stay alive! I’m tearing through the fridge knowing there’s nothing there but a stick of butter and some old milk….but WAIT! A PIZZA!!!

I rule.

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