While Santa’s been busy making his list of Christmas songs and checking them twice for modern relevancy, the elves here at DownInTheWell have been busy in the workshop bring a special Christmas miracle to you, the fans. Fueled by caffeine, cigarettes, and cheap beer, they’ve putting in long hours and are pleased to announce, just in time for Christmas (but too late for Hanukkah), the DownInTheWell redesign!
So what’s new you ask? Let’s start at the top…
– A New Logo
Due to a mixup at ElfLab, the font that was used for the DownInTheWell logo previously was lost in a nuclear disaster involving a enriched uranium, a rouge middle-eastern nation, and a unnamed reindeer. The elves sprung into action and scoured their photoshops for a font. They found it and delivered the best DownInTheWell header image yet.
– New Spacing and Fonts
Despite the lack of formal design training, the elves know when something doesn’t look just right. So they broke out their rulers and CSS skills and cleaned it up a bit. And while they were at it, they went back to their font-bag and found a new font. Yea for typeface!
– Fixed Comment System
It’s no secret that the comment entry box has been broken for a while. The elf responsible for that particular fiasco has been refereed to Santa’s secret police unit for prosecution and extreme waterboarding. Maybe he’ll think twice next time he slacks off and pursues his dreams of having a girlfriend and a social life.
– Improved Mobile Experience
If you’re anything like many of the elves here at ElfLab, you spend a good portion of time riding trains to work, school, or your local adult entertainment theatre. The world famous DownInTheWell Bar Room Background is amazing, but it takes forever to load on AT&T’s tin-can-and-twine excuse for a wireless network. By optimizing this and recoding that, the elves have improved the performance when using a mobile device.
– Boring Stuff for Elf Self-Gratification
In addition to all these amazing new things, ElfLab made hundreds of changes to the core codebase of DownInTheWell.com. Even Santa himself doesn’t understand these changes, but they exist none the less. These changes improve the performance, stability, and flexibility of the DownInTheWell website machines. With Christmas coming, and the demand for toys and holiday themed content expected to drop suddenly, mass layoffs are on the table here at ElfLab. In hopes of attracting the attention of Cupid or perhaps the Easter Bunny, the elves have sharpened their skills hoping to improve their prospects for future employment. If you need any web design, PHP, or WordPress work, feel free to contact ElfLab’s former employee job placement program at firstname.lastname@example.org
All of us here at ElfLab would like to wish the DownInTheWell readers a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!