Total Kill Yourself Time, Is California Part Of America Part 5, Or You Can’t Throw From Behind A Bad Line

The Bears lost 45-10 on Sunday in an epic meltdown that confirmed so much of what is wrong with my life.

No offense and more pointedly no defense. The Bears were cut up like butter. I left in the middle of the fourth quarter and the Bengals offense had yet to punt. More insultingly Cedric Benson, the Jerry Angelo bust extraordinaire, ran through the Bears and now is the leading NFL Rusher.

Total Kill Yourself Time.

At three and two the bears had a shot to prove something last week, this week and in the opening game of the season. They have proved only that Jay Cutler, like Kyle Orton and Rex Grossman before him, will only play as good as his line. And the line is old and terrible.

Your supposed to build teams from the inside, the trenches, so that the talent at quarterback has a chance to flourish and your running back doesn’t get nailed two yards behind the line of scrimmage. The Bears gave away there sweet-heart, Kyle Orton, The neck-bearded Purdue kid who did nothing but win (21-12 as a Bear) and kinda suck behind a bad line. He never excelled, though he won, but who can excell behind the oldest and worst line in football. But he won and they traded him away for the fancy prospect of a “Franchise Quarterback” named Jay cutler. And guess what . . . He can’t play behind a shitty line either.

With that trade they also gave away an inappropriate amount of 1st round draft picks, or in other words all of their hopes for building an offensive line for the future. So the Bears of 2009 are mired in a hapless offense and a prostitute esq loose defense. How loose is the Bears Defense Brad? Loose enough to give up 31 points before the half.

What was on that field on Sunday was a great example of Total Kill Yourself Time. Benson, the maligned ex-Bear back to make a statement against the team that cut him. Cutler the man without a plan running backwards at time behind that is old and bad and will be in front of him for a while. Everything you saw one the field that day came straight from the Bears, it was all the Bears doing and thus their own fault. And it was terrible.

So Brad, you ask, how is this little microcosm of football self destruction akin to your life.

Well there in lies an explanation.

First of I have never been good at building from the trenches. Who want’s to spend time laying out a career and a home and becoming an adult when there are sexy trades to be made. At twenty five I have some what of a career going, but already it is old and bad. And since I have not been making loads of money through my skeletal political career, I don’t have much of a line to throw behind.

Beyond that I traded my sweetheart (literally) for a shot at a sexy Quarterback from out west . . . Living in LA. Now it might seem cool and neat to live in LA, but from behind a bad line of being broke, well I end up having no where to throw. This place is meant for people with loads of money.

I had a nice girl that loved me unconditionally (Kyle Orton) and a house back home, but I traded that for a sexy move. “Maybe I’ll have a nice offense if I trade this for that, maybe then things will work out”.

She was never perfect, but all in all she had more wins in my book than losses. And that person somewhere else can flourish.

Kyle Orton is 6-0 on the season.

So now I’m Broke, alone and in Total Kill Yourself Time, The time exemplified by being in a shitty position you put yourself in and god damn well knowing it, and I have no recourse.

Will I commit suicide? No. That is the cheap way out. But the idea of killing Rush Limbaugh in a make me famous move is becoming real. There is a big difference between suicide and murder/suicide right? I mean someone might write a book about me.

But wait Brad, the season is still young . . . Shouldn’t you wait it out, I mean the Bears are only 3-3.

Yes voice in my head, your right, the season is young. But one things for sure, that big name Quarterback from out-west better start throwing some god-damn touchdowns or Rush Limbaugh is a dead man.

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