Carl Weathers, more commonly known as Apollo Creed to anyone who has seen a Rocky movie, is alive and homeless in Los Angeles. Dispelling all rumors and myths about him being either
My reasoning behind this assumption is based on the rock solid evidence of ‘I think I saw him
on the train this morning’.
Ok wait, I just watched that one episode of Arrested Development that featured Carl Weathers…and the guy on the train was absolutely NOT Carl Weathers.
So, the focus of this article must change to ‘How being in a Rocky movie fucks up your life’.
Case # 1: Carl Weathers.
Playing Apollo Creed in four Rocky movies has typecast this guy to the point where you forget he was Major Dillon in Predator…and you also think you see him as a homeless man on the train in Los Angeles, and honestly, that’s bad enough.
Case # 2: Mr. T.
If Mr. T would have just stuck with playing B.A. Baracus in the A-Team [and had not squandered his television, film, and professional wrestling fortunes on…umm…more gold chains and mohawks?] and NOT have played Rocky’s most baddest of ass-est foes Clubber Lang, he probably wouldn’t have to be doing 1-800-collect and snickers commercials.
But I would have to still demand he does that ‘Treat your mother right’ rap.
And maybe that world of warcraft commercial too. Night Elf Mohawk…Oh T., you so crazy!
Ok wait I’ve changed my mind, Mr. T can still be in Rocky III…he kicked too much ass.
Case # 3: Dolph Lundgren.
Wait a minute; Ivan Drago, The Punisher, Universal Soldier, AND Joshua Tree!? This guy rules, you leave him alone!
But Brigitte Nielsen, she on the other hand could definitely have used a lot less Flava Flav in her
life, and I place the blame solely on her performance in Rocky IV. Why? Because that’s what
this article is about…that’s why.
Case # 4: Sylvester Stallone.
Rocky Balboa. [the movie…not the character specifically]
and Cliffhanger that movie sucks too.
But First Blood is still awesome!
And Stop or my mom will shoot.
On second thought…forget you even started reading this.