Hole In The Wall – An Examination

This is a repost of a post I wrote for an old employer back in ’08. The show discussed seemed relevant at the time. Enjoy it if you can.

There are very few things in my life that i will stand by, but this is one of them:

Japanese people are inherently funny, and hot girls aren’t.

I don’t have a lot of scientific evidence to back me up on this one, only a few short examples – and that good ol’ gut feeling!

The ‘human tetris’ phenomenon isn’t new by anyone’s standards here on the internet, and by that same logic anyone in japan who is familiar with the Japanese game show ‘Tonneruzu’ [that was lifted from wikipedia, i have no real idea what the show is actually called – the segment in question is called ‘brain wall’ for obvious[?] reasons] where they make people dress up in goofy one piece suits and brightly colored safety equipment in order to perform wacky stunts.

The ‘brain wall’ portion of the japanese show looks like this

it’s hilarious in every way. people stuffing themselves through obscene holes cut into huge sheets of polystyrene, and the comedy is most likely heightened due to the simple fact that i don’t know a single word of japanese, and the occasioanl dramatic outbursts of ‘oooooohhhhhh’ whenever something happens.

with the eventual popularity of this game on the internet [where everything interesting eventually gets put, buried, found, and then buried again to be discovered by a later generation] impending, other networks wanted to cash in on this outstanding idea [think – any show you THOUGHT was an original concept, turns out to be a cheap japanese ripoff, unless it’s a cheap japanese ripoff of a horrible western idea – like the mega mac]

Is it love, or a stroke?

[scratch that…that’s actually a really good idea]

here are two other versions of the show, and why i don’t like them:

first: The american version

I just watched this last night in the laundry mat, and being a typically cynical guy i had zero intention of liking this.

i was right, it’s no good. the idea gets stale after a few minutes of some body builder in a shiny foil outfit squeezing through a hole three times his size, followed by a big fat radio dj having to worm his way through the eye of a needle. there isn’t any organic energy spewing from this remake, much like the failed ‘whammy’ show or any of the post richard-dawson feuds

the only thing they actually did right about this show, is this:

which brings me to a second tidbit of wisdom: fat people are funny.

second: the sexy italian version

now, to be fair, this was actually the first adaptation i had seen of this show [i only credit the japanese for creating it, well, because i saw it first with japanese people – and as we all know, japanese people are crazy…and that makes this all make sense] and it is by far the least entertaining.

hot chicks already have something going for them, they’re hot. they don’t have to stuff themselves through holes cut out of styrofoam, and this is most likely why they aren’t ever funny.

don’t get me wrong, i know girls that are funny that i think are ‘cute’ or ‘attractive’, but hot girls aren’t funny….on purpose.

sometimes hot girls do things that i think are funny, but it’s of no effort of their own, and that’s a completely different conversation.

so in Italy, they have these super models dress up in very small bikinis and..a garter? [like that thing i never got to take off my date at prom] in this slick, dimmly lit studio – and it looks a lot like this:

hot, i know, but totally worthless. [don’t worry, i watched all three and a half minutes…a few times – along with a million other people]

they took an idea that is kind of funny and entertaining for how outlandish it is, and totally tried to make it sexy and competitive.

it didn’t work, at least not for this guy [me].

so, in the mean time, i prefer my game shows crazy and japanese – and if they can find a way to replicate alex trebec in any way, i think that would be fine also.