How To Smuggle Liquor Onto Cruise Ships, Airplanes, Or Into Baseball Games!

We’ve all been bitten by the ‘bad economy bug’, but that doesn’t mean you have to quit having a good time.  We’ve recently discovered the solution to all of life’s ‘hey it’s too expensive to get drunk at (fill in event here), so I’m not going to go’ problems.  Bootlegging!  Here is a quick demonstration of how we were able to effectively maneuver around the ‘no outside beverages’ clause on a recent cruise:

Fun AND effective….Funfective!

Here are the specific steps we followed:

1. Purchase large zipper bags and some clear plastic tape.

2. Fill bags with liquor.

3. Tape bags to the small of your back, making sure to seal the opening (you don’t want any embarrassing leaks as you go through security)

*Note:  the inner thighs may also be a great place to stash the goods, but you run the risk of bursting/pat downs

4. Remove ALL metal from your body so as to avoid any complications at the security gate.

5. Stuff so much stuff (especially electronics) into your plastic tray for x-ray. They are totally distracted by the ruckus you’ve created that you are just waved through.

6. Get wasted CHEAP!

will this work with chili?

chili, beef stew, any assortment of items from your local buffet…all delicious alternatives to stadium food!