Stabbing on BART after Raiders Game – Fact or Fiction?

From what I could tell, it happens 0% of the time that I was in attendance, and probably 100% of the time when I am not – at least that’s what my most recent studies have shown. Embedded journalism at it’s finest.

One thing is for sure, I walked from Jack London Square, to the Twelfth street BART station – bursting with Raiders fans – attended the game, and got back to my hotel safe and sound all while wearing a Walter Payton jersey and draped in an enormous shroud of orange and blue fleece emblazoned with the menacing bear logo – snapping pictures every ten feet or so like the tourist I am – and i live to this day to tell you about it.

Although, had i gotten stabbed – you could place the blame squarely on my aunt Debi for making me such a comfortable item to parade around with. So i guess i should thank her for the lack of pneumonia. Thanks!

and now, a short video for you to enjoy.

with any luck, i’ll have another highlight video to follow.

Random Cell Phone Pic Dump

nothing but dewclaw

Hey, that dog isn't handicapped!

Un-Occupy your bowels for wallstreet

Who knew santa was a socialist?

shake tongues, not hands

A fine line between a Glory Hole and a Kissing Booth

the box tasted better

Obligatory 'this looks different than this' pic - i've seen worse

a nibble of nibblet

Someone took a little taste

Kenny Brooks Comedian is A Hack! (and also most likely dead) : Arnold Benedict’s Internet Freakshow

The internet sensation Kenny Brooks has swept his way into everyone’s hearts because of his quick talking, sharp scathing whit, and jive – a whooooole lot of jive. A true comedian, with his self deprecating racial humor – putting a crooked smile on a face of your typical downtrodden door to door salesman. The video that you may or may not have seen:

He’s great isn’t he? But, unfortunately – it appears this is just a thing they do at Advanage (hire broke black youth to invade suburban households with their delicious miracle cleaner)

Advanage Official Website

Or, for the uninitiated

And, while we don’t blame Kenny for getting his hustle on and really trying to make that guap, we are pretty sure he might have been murdered by his brother:

Kenneth Brooks was pronounced dead the next day at 3:45 p.m. at Arrowhead Regional Medical Center in Colton, authorities said.

So, it wasn’t the cleaner that killed him.

Sorry Kenny, your fifteen minutes came a few months too late.

Unless you’re alive – which if that’s the case – still a hack.

Good luck on Leno!

Arnold Benedct’s Internet Freakshow: How To Win A Fight In Hollywood

I was watching the movie ‘White Heat’ a while back, and thought they portrayed fighting back in the black and white days as unusually effective and simple. So I threw this together to share with you:

Things I Thought I Wouldn’t Like: Bridesmaids

Things I Thought I Wouldn’t Like


The reason i began writing these was based entirely on a conversation i had with my sister about this movie. She (like so many other women in the film industry – and comedy) hark it as a ‘landmark film that shatters the glass ceiling’ (a paraphrase and reinterpretation of many of their statements – but pretty accurate) – this film will change the way they’re made!

I disagreed – but upon finding out that i hadn’t really even paid attention to the movie the first time through – the naysayers declared my opinion invalid. (citing the fact that if the movie couldn’t capture my full attention while i sit on my couch and internet – then it wasn’t worth it’s salt, regardless of who made it)

So i watched it last night with undivided attention.

As you would expect (as stubborn as i tend to be) – my opinion has not changed. I just can’t watch this film and think to myself – *sigh* ‘groundbreaking’.

Kristin Wiig plays your classic downtrodden yet hopeful thirty something still clamoring her way towards an epiphany. She is cute, charming, and a passionate ‘every girl’ – totally relateable – finally women can have an honest to goodness role model they can look up to – the loud, selfish, not afraid to fart joke Wiig.


Yes, the film is touching – yes it has it’s moments where i truly laughed out loud – groundbreaking? no.

My argument isn’t meant to be misogynistic (at least i don’t think it should be taken as such) - but shouldn’t something be ‘new and interesting’ to be considered ‘groundbreaking’? I understand women in comedy don’t get the respect they sometimes deserve (but, as anyone who knows anything about comedy can attest to – ANY woman with a fraction of talent in comedy (and good looks doesn’t hurt either) nowadays gets eaten up by the talent sharks the instant they show promise re: whitney). Bridesmaids is just a re-hash of bad comedy that has been made so many times before – but, with a woman at the helm.

I understand that this movie wasn’t for ME – and i respect that. But neither are cartoons, and i more than often LOVE those.

i thought it didn’t live up to the hype (as to be expected) – but that doesn’t mean there weren’t some redeeming qualities. There are much worse movies out there that i have seen that never would have had the Bride shit in the street while trying on a one of a kind French designer dress. The roommates were good for a little laugh – but the standout was really Melissa McCarthy who played the rotund ‘Chris Farley’ roll – and she was hilarious in almost every scene she was in – naturally, because that’s why she was written into the film. The comic relief in a comedy film was the saving grace.

Lucille Ball and Roseanne Barr were ‘groundbreaking’. They were pioneers of their craft. They didn’t just decide to map their concept over a time tested template and call it genius. They transformed the medium in ways that Bridesmaids can never touch.

Listen folks – kick back on a sunday night and watch Bridesmaids. Laugh along with foul mouthed females telling you the best dick jokes you may have never heard. Applaud as the soft, sweet smelling facade is peeled away from everything you thought occurs between friends of the female persuasion. It’s entertaining and irreverent – but the shovels will stay on the shelves.

but maybe i’m missing something.