So, it’s February 11, and as I was writing something for a totally unrelated project [actually…I’ll probably just paste that in here after I’m finished just to qualify this as an ‘original’ post because I had to make that stupid comment a few back about ‘only original posts’…well folks, I’m an idiot, and a hypocrite. Enough said.] I stumbled upon this piece of nostalgia that I had no idea even existed:
That’s right, the Ramones are even cooler than you ever imagined. The ‘Rock And Roll High School’ remake can kiss my ass compared to these!
[The rock and roll high school remake will be shit…don’t let that last comment confuse you]
I was originally going to write this about thick tube socks, but after noticing the date I decided to change the subject on the fly.
Steel Reserve. High Gravity Lager. Extra barley and select hops for extra gravity. Slow brewed for a MINIMUM of 28 days. Exceptionally smooth flavor.
‘The two eleven mark, based on the medieval symbol for steel, appears only on steel reserve high gravity lager. We use nearly twice the ingredients of many normal lagers & brew for over twice as long as many quality beers.’ – Each And Every Can
And holy shit is this a drink to get drunk on!
It’s cheap as hell, and it fucks you up. It fucks a guy like me WAY up.
I remember in college when my friends and I had gone on this ‘Steel Reserve Kick’ because of our refusal to get jobs and spend money. This shit was cheap, and I’m talking ‘two dollars for a four pack of 16oz’ers that would get your straight fucked up’ kind of cheap! I was a light weight among my friends and if I drank even one before I went out to a party or a bar I would probably get in a fight. After two I was DEFINITELY starting a fight. Three I was too wasted to even think about a fight. And as for four? Don’t even ask what happened after four because, well, my brains were sloshing around in a gasoline alternative for a few hours so those memories belong to someone else.
So this is what we drank. In addition to keg parties with Natural Light or whatever the ‘cheapest half barrel you could get’ was, this is what kept us consistently messed up for a year. I remember my friend Brad had a hotel fridge FULL of it. And I mean stacked up straight to the top!
A lot of shit talking and lake swimming was done under the influence of steel reserve. One time my friend Skala claimed to have finished off EIGHT Steel Reserves AND a 40oz of Mickey’s malt liquor! I believe it to this day, that guy could definitely hold his liquor, and if you weren’t careful, he’d hold yours too.
The appeal of Steel Reserve absolutely lies in it’s price and it’s ‘fuck-you-uptidness’. Topping in at around 8.1% alcohol by volume, it seems that Miller Brewing company had stumbled upon the solution to every bum and broke kid’s alcohol problem by selling what we always assumed was just some strange by product of the standard brewing process. There isn’t much evidence to support this theory, but there really isn’t anything saying otherwise.
The taste? Terrible. But we did get to the point where we actually enjoyed it, like getting your sea legs.
I went back up to northern IL that summer where I didn’t find much Steel Reserve. Brad tried to reintroduce me to it a few months later, but it was never the same.
The summer of Steel Reserve was over, and my brain thanks me for it.