So, it’s February 11, and as I was writing something for a totally unrelated project [actually…I’ll probably just paste that in here after I’m finished just to qualify this as an ‘original’ post because I had to make that stupid comment a few back about ‘only original posts’…well folks, I’m an idiot, and a hypocrite.Â Enough said.] I stumbled upon this piece of nostalgia that I had no idea even existed:
That’s right, the Ramones are even cooler than you ever imagined. The ‘Rock And Roll High School’ remake can kiss my ass compared to these!
[The rock and roll high school remake will be shit…don’t let that last comment confuse you]
I was originally going to write this about thick tube socks, but after noticing the date I decided to change the subject on the fly.
Steel Reserve. High Gravity Lager. Extra barley and select hops for extra gravity. Slow brewed for a MINIMUM of 28 days. Exceptionally smooth flavor.
â€˜The two eleven mark, based on the medieval symbol for steel, appears only on steel reserve high gravity lager. We use nearly twice the ingredients of many normal lagers & brew for over twice as long as many quality beers.â€™ – Each And Every Can
And holy shit is this a drink to get drunk on!
Itâ€™s cheap as hell, and it fucks you up. It fucks a guy like me WAY up.
I remember in college when my friends and I had gone on this â€˜Steel Reserve Kickâ€™ because of our refusal to get jobs and spend money. This shit was cheap, and Iâ€™m talking ‘two dollars for a four pack of 16ozâ€™ers that would get your straight fucked up’ kind of cheap! I was a light weight among my friends and if I drank even one before I went out to a party or a bar I would probably get in a fight. After two I was DEFINITELY starting a fight. Three I was too wasted to even think about a fight. And as for four? Donâ€™t even ask what happened after four because, well, my brains were sloshing around in a gasoline alternative for a few hours so those memories belong to someone else.
So this is what we drank. In addition to keg parties with Natural Light or whatever the â€˜cheapest half barrel you could getâ€™ was, this is what kept us consistently messed up for a year. I remember my friend Brad had a hotel fridge FULL of it. And I mean stacked up straight to the top!
A lot of shit talking and lake swimming was done under the influence of steel reserve. One time my friend Skala claimed to have finished off EIGHT Steel Reserves AND a 40oz of Mickeyâ€™s malt liquor! I believe it to this day, that guy could definitely hold his liquor, and if you werenâ€™t careful, heâ€™d hold yours too.
The appeal of Steel Reserve absolutely lies in itâ€™s price and itâ€™s â€˜fuck-you-uptidnessâ€™. Topping in at around 8.1% alcohol by volume, it seems that Miller Brewing company had stumbled upon the solution to every bum and broke kidâ€™s alcohol problem by selling what we always assumed was just some strange by product of the standard brewing process. There isnâ€™t much evidence to support this theory, but there really isnâ€™t anything saying otherwise.
The taste? Terrible. But we did get to the point where we actually enjoyed it, like getting your sea legs.
I went back up to northern IL that summer where I didnâ€™t find much Steel Reserve. Brad tried to reintroduce me to it a few months later, but it was never the same.
The summer of Steel Reserve was over, and my brain thanks me for it.