Why do people keep having these things made? (the 3-D ultrasound images that look like little turd humans, I’m not questioning the creation of babies themselves – i don’t want to sound anti-kid baby here all of a sudden)
Yeah, real cute baby Einstein - but you look like a mud pie.
Does it not look like a child made out of melted fudge? Have you ever played the board game Candyland? Could you imagine giving birth to this thing!?
Congratulations Mrs. Spencer - your baby is a healthy 80's pop culture reference
You could build a pueblo out of this kid.
Conception began during the Green Day set at Woodstock ’94.
Supposedly the technology is much better now, and if you have a descent enough insurance plan – your 3-D ultrasound will look like an actual real infant and not a terrifying Junior Jabba The Hut
But, a world without mud babies is a world i don’t wanna live in.
I was at work the other day and someone sent me this video because they thought it was interesting:
and i said to myself ‘hmm, that is interesting….i think?’. Then i noticed that in the related videos section, there were TONS of these types of videos. So i got curious and began watching them. For easily twenty minutes i was sitting in my office, a grown man watching pregnant women’s bellies grow to disgustingly large proportions, stuffed full of babies. Then i stumbled upon this one:
This chick’s hot! I never imagined a pregnant woman could be attractive before! I just figured they were disgusting and gross the instant a zygote formed [based purely on my high school health class experiences of watching ‘the miracle of birth’ repeatedly in slow motion]
So i dug a little deeper, and found out that not only can they be moderately attractive, there are entire fetish sites DEDICATED to pregnant chicks! This is a thing!
Right off the bat – for those of you who would prefer dive to straight into the hot and heavy hardcore pregmo action – go to sexypregnant.org and get your fill. [but my favorite bun in the oven related URL has to be ‘preggolicious.com’]
For those of us with more refined taste – here are a few of the more tastefully attractive pregnant ladies i was able to discover through a little searching – I did the work so you don’t have to:
You should probably get Wild On that.
This doesn't seem right - maybe it's non-alcoholic? I can't tell, i was too busy staring at the hot pregnant chick with a beer in her hand.
Yes it's Britney. No I'm not kidding.
I'm not a huge fan of red lipstick - but i'm not a huge fan of pregnant chicks either. We're willing to make exceptions for everything.
Yeah. This one should have probably been first huh?
Trust me, the rest really aren’t worth looking at. Not to be rude, your babies are most likely wonderful and life really is miraculous – but your enormous bellies freaks me out a little.
And, if you’re looking for something completely tasteless and totally NSFW – go ahead and check out this terrible flash game I found!
Don’t say i’ve never done anything to enhance your lives.
From what I could tell, it happens 0% of the time that I was in attendance, and probably 100% of the time when I am not – at least that’s what my most recent studies have shown. Embedded journalism at it’s finest.
One thing is for sure, I walked from Jack London Square, to the Twelfth street BART station – bursting with Raiders fans – attended the game, and got back to my hotel safe and sound all while wearing a Walter Payton jersey and draped in an enormous shroud of orange and blue fleece emblazoned with the menacing bear logo – snapping pictures every ten feet or so like the tourist I am – and i live to this day to tell you about it.
Although, had i gotten stabbed – you could place the blame squarely on my aunt Debi for making me such a comfortable item to parade around with. So i guess i should thank her for the lack of pneumonia. Thanks!
and now, a short video for you to enjoy.
with any luck, i’ll have another highlight video to follow.
The internet sensation Kenny Brooks has swept his way into everyone’s hearts because of his quick talking, sharp scathing whit, and jive – a whooooole lot of jive. A true comedian, with his self deprecating racial humor – putting a crooked smile on a face of your typical downtrodden door to door salesman. The video that you may or may not have seen:
He’s great isn’t he? But, unfortunately – it appears this is just a thing they do at Advanage (hire broke black youth to invade suburban households with their delicious miracle cleaner)
And, while we don’t blame Kenny for getting his hustle on and really trying to make that guap, we are pretty sure he might have been murdered by his brother:
